Why Do People Complain About Living In Orange County?

What's up people? How's everyone been? I've been great. No complaints. I've been asked a ton recently to post. I know I have been lagging.

Well here goes...

It's 11:45pm on a Thursday night. I definitely have had a long week. I know I know it has actually been a short week but I swear it's always the short weeks that end up seemingly like they take forever. Anyways, I'm up late cramming on my best man speech for my best friend's wedding this Saturday. I should totally be in bed. I take a brief break to check Facebook. I'm reading through status updates from people and it's amazing that not one, but two people had status updates of, "I need to get out of Southern California. It sucks here. I need a change." I'm sure you have seen plenty of posts just like that before.

Really?! Did you look outside today? Does 75 sunny and clear ring a bell? Where do you want to go? For what? Why? It's one thing to compare 3rd world countries to Orange County/Southern California like our parents have probably done to all of us, but have you seen the news lately? There was a damn tornado in Massachusetts yesterday. I repeat a tornado in Massachusetts. That's not normal weather for the North Eastern sea board ever. That's not tornado row, that's Massachusetts. Take a look outside and realize where you're at. We live in Orange County/Southern California.

I went ahead and googled top 10 places to live in the United States and the first place that came up was Eden Prairie, Minnesota. Minnesota? As in the same place that had the Metrodome collapse due to too much snow - fall? Whoever determined that Minnesota is the best place to live is high. Nothing against Minnesota, I'm sure it's a great place, but when buildings are collapsing due to an abundance of snow, then that's stress, that's cold, that sucks and I'm out.

Again I'll ask, where do you want to go? Someone please tell me a better realistic alternative. Yes Orange County/Souther California may not have the best culture, but you can build your own cultures and traditions on your own with your family and friends doing things your way.

Your parents probably busted their asses to get you to grow up in Southern California. If not your parents, it was your grandparents that did. For those of you that knew me, I was a spoiled shithead when I was younger. Only child, private school and at 16 driving a BMW. Well too bad at 17 I was on my ass, doing the couch tour, taking the bus to school and work, living from penny to penny literally. I used to tell my parents I was deprived. I'm surprised they didn't slap the shit out of me. Deprived from what? Not getting the 20 bucks I wanted to go out Friday night?

Here's the deal: As we're going into summer months just be thankful of where you're at. You really have no idea. If you want to get out due to social problems, then get in a new social circle. It's not that difficult unless you have the personality of a front door. If it's due to a lifestyle i.e. drugs and alcohol, again get in a new circle. There are active support groups for everything out there. Join a church, get a hobby. Getting out is not the solution. Running away is never the solution. Fix the problem. Look within.

Website Update: Some dude was supposed to get my website started for me. I gave him a deposit, he never produced product, so I'm back at the drawing board taking suggestions from web designers.

Video Of The Day: Jeff Naber ladies and gentlemen

Hope Everyone has a great weekend. Hopefully I'll post again soon. Take Care.

That's Agg

- Black Jon

Pick Up Your Dog's Crap

I really didn't want to post until my new website was complete but something occurred last night that I had to vent about. If you own a dog and you're taking that dog for a walk, there's a couple of things you bring in order to walk the dog:

1. Make sure it has a leash. In a sue happy society if your dog happens to knock over a toddler, your dog will probably get put down and you'll be out some cash. It is what it is.

2. Plastic bag. This is to pick up your dog's poop.

That's all you need.

So I'm parking at my mom's house the other night and sure enough there's this guy with his dog on my mom's front lawn. The guy is in his mid to late 40's, wearing khaki pants and a polo shirt. He's just chillin watching his dog take a crap on my mom's lawn. 'Honestly, not a big deal. He's going to clean it up right? I get out of my car to observe. The guy's dog finishes up and he turns around to walk away. I'm now standing maybe 20ft. away just looking at him with my arm's folded.

Transcript:

Guy: Can I help you?
Me: Yes. Yes you can. Are you going to clean up your dog's crap off my lawn?

Guy: Uhh Um. I don't have a bag with me.
Me: Well...Do you live here?

Guy: Ya I live right there
Me: Why don't you go grab a bag and clean that up?

Guy: Uhh Um. Let me just loop around the block real quick and I'll come back and take care of it.
Me: Why don't we just loop right over to your house, grab a bag and take of this right now?

He knows I'm pissed at this point. So we end up walking over to his driveway. I waited for him to go inside, come back out, and clean up his dog's crap. At the end I just said, "Thanks man. You have yourself a fantastic evening" being as sarcastic as I could.

All I have to say about this whole thing: Who does this? Unbelievable.

Video Of The Day:



That's Agg

- Black Jon

2010 Agg Awards

So 2010 huh? How was 2010 for you? I hope it went well for you all but hope that 2011 will bring on bigger and better things for every single one of you. One thing I'm personally looking forward to in 2011 is that my 2 best friends (no I don't have 1, I'm cool enough to have 2) are getting married and I happen to be privileged enough to be best man for each of their weddings.

Anyways, here's the deal: This is the last post of the year and there probably won't be another post until mid to late January. Why? Well www.thatsagg.com has hired a website designer and as we speak, going under a serious overhaul.

Even though the layout of the site isn't finalized there are a few things the site will feature:

1. Less Me. More You. I will still be posting on a regular basis on the site however, YOU will also be able to post.

Things Such As:
- Agg Stories
- Videos
- Comments
- Situations
- People you don't like
- Fails

Anything flies until further notice.

2. Forum - You know forums and how they work. No explanation.
3. Poll Questions. You can submit poll questions

4. A girlfriend of mine will be having a simultaneous blog on my site about her interesting dating life and her thoughts that YOU the people will also be able to give advice, add comments etc. She will also be the girl perspective on my male perspective posts that I commonly do.

There's the list. If you would like to see anything else, feel free to suggest. Like I said before. Let's get this thing fucking interactive.

Here are the awards for 2010:

Video Of The Year: Ambalamp


Song Of The Year: Steel Panther - Asian Hooker


Picture of The Year: 1 of 3: Click to Enlarge



















Text Of The Year: By Matt A.
You wouldn't believe how much talent in extra tight yoga pants there were. Cameltoe Paradise!

- Matt A.


Police Chase Of The Year:


Viral Video Of The Year: Raping Everybody Out Here


Post Of The Year: White Pants (1st post was deleted from Google Nazi's)
http://www.thatsagg.com/2010/05/you-know-what-they-say-about-women-who.html


See you next year. Be safe on New Year's Eve.

That's Agg

- Black Jon

The True Story Of Rudolph

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night.

His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob's wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?" Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob.

Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938.

Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined to make one - a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling. Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn't end there.

The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book. Wards went on to print, Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book.

In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter. But the story doesn't end there either.

Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore, it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of "White Christmas."

The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Video Of The Day:

That's Agg

- Black Jon

I Was Uninvited To A Christmas Party Because I'm Black...Seriously

Where do I even begin with this? For those that don't think racism and true ignorance isn't prevalent and doesn't exist in our modern day society, let me assure you that it does. It's that time of year where we all come together to embrace our friends, families and loved ones. With this time of year what occurs almost every night? Christmas parties. Whether it's a company Christmas party, an ugly sweater party or a Santa's Sausage fest party Christmas parties go down and they're usually glorious.

A friend of mine is finishing up with culinary school and was asked to do the catering for a party out in Coto De Caza. Coto De Caza, for my readers that are outside of Orange County is the premier, guard gated, private home, estate community around here. I have a lot of experience with the people out there due to my job. I can go ahead and make the generalization that the residents of Coto are either the most genuine nice people you can meet or just complete ignorant assholes and in this case racist.

My friend asked me if I would like to attend the party. I really didn't think I was invited as a date so I offered to help with the catering or serving. The party was last Friday. On Wednesday, 2 days before the party I stopped by my friends house to see what she was making, how everything was going etc. So come to find out I was uninvited. Not a big deal. She probably found somebody else to help her out right? Wrong! I was uninvited because I am Black. Seriously.

Transcript:

Friend: Hey, just to let you know you're not going to be able to come to the party.
Me: Oh Ok.

Friend: No it's not OK. I'm pissed off about it.
Me: Why?

Friend: You're not allowed to go because you're Black.
Me: What?

Friend: Ya pretty much.
Me: What are you talking about?

Friend: The people who are having the party and my dad asked if I was bringing anyone.
Me: And...?

Friend: Of course I told them I'm bringing you, Black Jon. They then asked me if you're actually Black. So I told them of course and that the only reason I call you Black Jon is because you even call yourself Black Jon and everyone knows you as that.
Me: So what happened?

Friend: They advised me that it wouldn't be a good idea to bring you because if anything was stolen they didn't want to blame you for it.
Me: HAHAHA really?! Seriously?

Friend: Yes seriously. I don't want to go myself but I have to at this point not to mention they're paying me a good amount of money to do this.
Me: Honestly it's not a big deal. It's just very funny. Don't worry about it.

Honestly, I wouldn't have taken the time to write a full blog about this because I don't need need a pity party about racism. I just don't. However, that of course was until I asked my friend how the party and event was. My friend who was working the party prepared 7 desserts and a cake. She put in at least that I know of (I would have to consult with her to find out for sure) 20 hrs to prepare everything. Keep that number in mind.

At the end of the night, the people throwing the party asked what they owed my friend for her services. She told them that she would get back to them once she figured out her costs for materials and time. She ended up telling them that her costs were $130 but she still needed to figure out her hours still. They wrote her a check on the spot for $130 & gave her a $50 bill.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you put in 20 hrs of work + the party hours and you only get $50, that you made Jack and Shit and Jack left town. In the end she made barely above $2/hr. AWESOME! Yes it was her own fault for not having a contracted rate but really?! People this wealthy have paid for services before and know that $2/hr is not reasonable or acceptable. They know what they're doing and completely took advantage of the situation. Combination of both that and the racism = they're pieces of shit. I really should put down on my blog what their names are but I've had a long withstanding policy that there will not be names used on this blog.

Although, big big changes are coming down the pipeline for 2011. Things could change....

Video Of The Day:


That's Agg

- Black Jon

Grab Ass Night Continued...

As I stated towards the end of my last post, there was more to what occurred Saturday Night other than me having a gay predator try and make some moves on me. Let me go and tell you about the rest of the night. This is where I would like a little participation from you readers. I want to know what would you do if this happened to you.

This is how a typical night at the club goes for me. As I've said in previous posts I know a bunch of club promoters around the local Orange County area, in Vegas, in LA etc. I know I know, club promoters are D - bags but hey everyone is trying to make a living somehow especially in this economy. What I'm getting at is that I don't wait in line. Can't do it. Won't do it. That may sound arrogant but it is what it is. Often times my promoter friends will give me drink tickets so that I don't have to waste my own money buying drinks for club rats.

It's pissing (raining hard) out and one would think that nobody would be at the club. Negative. Place is packed, line is deep. Since we weren't getting there until well after 12 my buddy working the door was only able to get me a wrist band. My friend and his sister had to pay to get in. Not a big deal because I had the drink tickets so I could get them drinks. We walk in and the first thing my buddy and his sister want to do is smoke a cig. We head to the patio and it's closed because it's over capacity. Again not a big deal we decide to go to the bar to grab those drinks.

We go to the bar and we grab our drinks. It's really warm inside the club and we have all of our jackets and coats on still due to the rain. There's a coat check right next to the front entryway so we go ahead and decide to check in our coats. This is where it starts to get interesting. There's an ATM machine that is to the left of the door opening where you check in your coats. My buddy decides to set his drink on top of the ATM machine as we attempt to check in our coats. Sure enough, come to find out, the coat check is out of hangers and aren't accepting any more coats. At this point I'm laughing. How is it anything but funny? We're laughing.

We start to move away from the coat check and my buddy looks at me with the strangest look on his face and says,

Buddy: Dude! Where's my drink?
Me: What?
Buddy: My drink was right here and now it's gone.
Me: WTF

My buddy looks at the dude on the other side of the ATM machine who happens to be holding a full Jack n Coke.

Buddy: Hey man I think that's my drink
Guy: Not it's not.
Buddy: Well where did you get it?
Guy: The bar man. Where did you think I got It?
Buddy: I think you got it from on top of this ATM machine
Guy: No I didn't
Buddy: What kind of drink is that?
Guy: Jack n Coke.

So my buddy tries to grab it from the guy but he wouldn't let go. So my friend storms off in complete frustration after, no cig, no coat, no drink.

I would have handled it a little different. What would you do?

In other news, the club completely smelled like steroids. I've done that rant before but there's just more to add. More to come later...

Video Of The Day:


That's Agg

- Black Jon

Gay Predator Trying To Play Grab Ass

I want to preface this with that I'm not a homophobe. I have no problem with people being gay. I voted no (no meant yes for this particular prop) on prop 8. Get out there and get gay. The only thing I ask, is to not bother me with it. Just don't bother me. Easy right? Apparently not for this fuck stick at La Cave.

I don't get hit on by gay guys. It just doesn't happen. It happened once when I was 16 filling up a soda at In n Out, this guy came up and handed me a dollar bill with his phone number on it. Subtle and creepy but whatever. No biggie.

With all that being said, I'm chillin at the bar. Along the bar it's my friend (guy), his sister and then me. On the opposite side of my friend which is the furthest away from me is the gay predator. Gay predator is a guy in his 50's. Gay predator is drinking by himself. Gay predator is wearing a flannel and cargo pants. Gay predator has probably scored some young dick before at La Cave. So I'm just sipping on my drink, I look over and gay predator has locked eyes with me. He winks and then nods to me. Not just any nod but the nod motioning towards the exit. So I look back at gay predator and simply just said, "NO!"

Do you think that would stop gay predator? Nope. Not at all. Gay predator has some serious confidence. Gay predator comes walking up and in my mind I'm thinking, "What does this guy want now? He can't be serious. Etc."

Transcript:

Gay Predator: Hi there.
Me: Ya?
Gay Predator: Sorry about that.
Me: It's alright man. No worries. I'm just not on your team. Don't worry about.
Gay Predator: Oh OK. That's fine.

So stupid me thinks this conversation, this event is over. I turn back towards my friends and the bar with my back to this guy. All of sudden my right ass cheek is not only being palmed but full blown being grabbed. I'm furious. I whip around and gay predator is sitting there with this shit eating grin on his face which made me even more mad because now gay predator thinks this is a joke. I probably could have handled the following a little better but let me at least give you a little background about myself. I don't like being touched by people I don't know let alone a gay predator trying to play grab ass with me. Don't get me wrong, I can be affectionate. I have no problem with affection, just not from people I don't know, especially a gay predator.

Turning around I say, "Listen man. I will fucking kill you. Do you understand me? I will fucking kill you if you touch m again." Again I realize I could have handled this better but c'mon predator. So predator has the look of horror on his face because he knows I'm livid. He starts apologizing. The bartender is laughing. Needless to say he stayed away from us the rest of the night. I stayed away from him and well....there's more to come about what occurred Saturday night. Stayed tuned. More to come tomorrow...

In final I do realize/sympathize why when girls get their asses grabbed, they're pissed.

Video Of The Day: Absolutely Brilliant



That's Agg

- Black Jon